A date is basically a series of lubricated lies - so lolz to playing the feminist card.

 

I am fully paid up feminist – and I am a big fan of the term ‘equalitist’ too.

The thing I come back to all the time as a feminist, is seeing it as a means to support other women. I find the fight comes quite naturally to me – I want us all to have the same opportunities as men without having to push for them but the fight is often required to avoid blatant disadvantage. This is still the big split isn’t it? The ingrained advantages that men are just born with and can chose to live by without having to ask for anything different.

I have been writing about what dating is like as I go, navigating my generation's current identity stramash. And then I saw a comment is free, YES ACTUALLY, about dates with male feminists, UH HUH, and once I'd done being annoyed at how stupid it was and the death of journalism... well....

All in all I actually realised I’m a bit shit at dating. I am generally unimpressed by men, oh, and anyone that isn’t a mate. AND I can’t hide what I am thinking from my face. #winning

The thing with guys playing the feminist card on a date, is it’s the same as ANYTHING EVER anyone says when there’s sexual tension or an expectation of sex. It becomes game-play. It’s all about bravado, showing off, the display. Chatting feminism on a date has just become a new kind of peacocking. It doesn’t mean nada. And this is the thing, (staying outside the debate of whether men can actually be feminists) – any political movement we sign up to, can only be demonstrated by our actions and the way we treat the people around us and that we interact with day to day.

The funny things ‘feminist’ men have said to me on dates, on sofas, in bars, beds, shoe-less walks home, line up exactly with the stupid things men who have not declared an interest either way. And I’m sure the stupid things I’ve said to try and get laid match up the other way round. (I DON'T LIKE TO CYCLE ON GRASS... I SAID THAT ONCE. Me either.) I’m sure Swifty is working on a new single about this.

You can read the comment is free thing here. I keep a note of the stupidest things I say on dates, and the oddest things said to me. A date is basically a series of lubricated lies isn’t it? In the same way tinder is kinda msn messenger but you’re not even chatting to people you like.

I am a feminist – and I live by a code that I like to think is about equality, and I get angry every day about how things work verses how they could and should work. But there is one sacred place for lies and putting together sentences you would never dare say with a serious face to anyone you actually trust. And that place is date-land. Let’s not change that. How else am I going to gather stories to entertain all my friends?

Oh and guys, if I smile and flick my hair, I wouldn’t rate it. I’m just trying to get in your pants. See, you play the feminist card; I can play my feminine card. Natch.