I’ve only gone and put my bloggy moan pants on. And the only (well) problem (my life sucks ya’ll) with blogging about sulking is it turns into a self criticising criminalising act.
And also, no good sulk noises will ever work on paper.
So instead of sharing more of my life is too darn hard I’m going to silence my tirade and instead go for my top five celebrity sulks of this week. After all - life is harder when earning (mim's synonyms recommends stealing/begging/borrowing as viable thesaurusable alternatives) inane amounts of money for merely poncing about.
Kim Kashardaiididididnanana. And I quote “It’s hard being me.”
Katy Perry. “OOOOH How dare you put a camera up my incredibly short dress when I get paid to hang around on street corners magazine covers with my waps out.”
Russell Brand. “Dear Fellow, get off my young lady. Oh good gracious, pontificating (long word) exorbitantly (long word) antidisestablishmentarianism.”
Paris Hilton. “What do you mean I can’t come in? Oh. Cuuum. On. Rheally? But I totally had the dawgs booked in for a two week spa treatment out in the $4,007,832 a night Crystal Kunst Wet Spa at Mount Fuji. Oh that is inconvenient. Oh and the private jet was totally due a no-carb-no-meat-no-fish-noodle restock. Just Grr all round hey guys.”
Chris Moyles. “It doesn’t matter how much you get paid, when you haven’t been paid for two months that becomes irrelevant.”
That last one has just made me so annoyed I’m off to throw puppies at Japanese tourists on the castle esplanade. There’ve been times when I haven’t been paid for two months. And no Mr Moyles, it wasn’t rubbish because I had to miss my monthly ritual of perusing my online bank statements, smirking to myself, drinking Cristal and shouting KA-CHING - but more because there are no jobs.
Oh cock - full circle on the sulk then.
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