100% Pure Pop

This was going to be about how frustrating I’m finding POP at the moment. Katy Perry and her Fire-not-at-all-a-metaphor-for-shiz-with-the-lothario-husband-Work, Cheryl and her I’m-not-talking-about-my-private-life album all about broken trust and relationship failure. The Saturdays. It’s exhausting. Don’t even get me started on Will.I.AINT. Just doing research is rather draining. All the bright noises and loud colours, music TV is terrifying. Willow Smith is whipping her hair back and forth and I’m wondering if she’s even old enough to go out and purchase a cone from an ice cream van on her own?

But this will not be about that. Instead, I’m going to talk about Robyn. The Swedish wonder woman known for such tracks as With Every Heartbeat, and With Every Heartbeat, this lady is actual bosching out super POP at a super rate. So as not to dilute – like a soda stream glass of tizer – I’m going to go for my top six Robynisms - a resolute favourite of music TV. Lists with numbers that is, not tizer.

First Up: She’s a lady pop star so we have to talk about appearance. Robyn has amazing hair. Her videos often feature her wearing t-shirt based outfits, rather than having been dipped in orange tango and sheen and having got caught in a tornado at River Island; she is consummately normal.

Secondly: Her most recent album was SO bleedin’ good she made three. Body Talk was released in June this year, then September and the third installment is due soon.

Thirdly: Dancing on My Own (Body Talk Pt. 1.) was inspired by “inherently sad, gay disco anthems” … like Donna Summer. Genius.

Fourthly: Most of her songs deal with the issues of being not quite good enough for the world and boys (and girls) not being quite good enough for Robyn. Her new favourite thing to do is wasting time with a bum. Lovely.

Fifthly: Crash And Burn Girl (Robyn 2005.) Illustrates watching a girl ‘crashing and burning’ in a social situation, and actually describes how she doesn’t realize she’s messed up until her face smashes into the ground. Metaphorical innit. That bit is good – all the people watchers come life experiencers know exactly what she’s wanging on about, but Robyn, not content with this does a talkie bit about how she’s not being a cow – she’s just pointing out a real life thing that happens and it’s more that she’s been there before than she’s wishing to enjoy someone else’s’ pain. Thus, bringing it back to Robyn being messed up and truly wonderful and human.

Sixthly: The 15th track on Robyn is a crap recording of Jack You Off. In which Robyn details different places she would happily Jack You Off. Sing a bit of Jack You Off in public and your friends will tell you to Keep It Down. I wonder if that’s a song on Body Talk Pt. 3?